Having directly experienced the “scourge” of being among the
youngest, smallest fellows and an unnecessarily peaceful guy in a boys-only
high school, I can tell you one, or two, or three (or more) things about being
bullied – Salesian High School in my case.
The constant state of being a “weak” and “soft” fellow exposes you to
different worlds and ultimately helps you to understand other phenomena, as you
suffer often in your silence.
See, a bully does not take your writing pen because he is in
desperate need of it, to do some school work, for instance. Far from it. The bully
will not only take your pen, he will ensure that you see the violence, or
threat thereof, scribbled all over his face! He can even be in possession of a
stack of pens and other items he does not necessarily need, seized from other “weak”
students. And that right there is a bully. He just wants to make himself appear
strong by violating those he perceives as weak. Ego? Male ego? I think bully
ago! And so, he will go around confiscating other children’s items, fully armed
with his “TSEK SONNY!” face!
The bully mentality also presents itself in other cases. Certainly, one
needs it for cases such as robbery, but it is also part of criminal act of rape.
The bully’s presence in
rape cases
Far too many jurisdictions, for far too long, defined and conceptualised
the crime of rape as, “the unlawful and intentional sexual intercourse with a
woman without her intercourse.” Defined this way, the crime can only be committed
against women, by men, and must necessarily involve the act of sexual intercourse
as people traditionally understand it. This definition is misleading.
Rape has nothing, or has far less, to do with sex or sexual intercourse.
It has more to do with the exerting of one’s power over someone else and thus filling
up one’s ego that they are indeed strong and respected. It is a crime of power,
not sexual pleasure. This is why it does not follow that one who does not have
a girlfriend or a wife is more a potential rapist than one with many.
Therefore, people who often make statements such as, “but he has many
girlfriends, why does he rape?”, totally miss the point about rape. The rapist’s
pleasure in raping a woman is not at the point of sexual pleasure. He wants to
humiliate her, strip her of all her dignity, and thus make himself feel big,
like an important person, just like the high school bully.
Many instances of rape demonstrate the point above. A woman would be
assertive and know her rights, and the bully would lead himself to raping her
because of some “she thinks she knows it all” mentality. A bully would claim to
be “teaching a lesson” to a woman merely because she expressed her opinions on
an issue or issues. He would rape a woman who has succeeded where none or few people,
especially men, have succeeded. He would rape a woman for her beauty, and rape
another because he perceives her as “ugly”, claiming, “you should be happy I am
helping you, nobody wants you.”
There have been many cases of gang rape where men conspired to rape
a woman merely because she performed better than them in school or work or other
discipline. I tell you, a woman would have short, long full-cover clothes on
her, and the bully would rape her and throw around some silly justification; “she
was looking for it”, “why was she hiding in her full gown”, etc.
In the early 2000s, some men raped a woman and her boyfriend in Manzini,
Swaziland, in the evening next to William Pitcher Teacher Training College. The
reason? The couple was apparently annoying them with their romantic walk! Yes!
And some people think that heterosexual rapist men will rape only women.
The example above clearly disproves that. But there is more. Many homosexual men
have been raped by heterosexual men – homophobic men. The rapists would claim
that they were giving the victim what he wanted! “He is gay, and so it means this
is what he wanted.” Think about it.
Just a side note, without intending to present an excursion, nor to
present a deviation, women rape too – they rape other women and other men. Let us
look at this some other time.
Of course, there are so many other examples and perhaps many other reasons
why people rape. In this instance, however, I just wanted to present an exposé of
the reality of the bully mentality in rape cases. It is a real phenomenon. I have
not conducted a study whether, generally, high school bullies are most likely
to be rapists, and neither have I seen one, but I suspect this could be so. I also
suspect that there are victims of bullying who could, due to long-term bullying,
grow up to be rapists, or at least be generally abusive.
Therefore, combat
bullying! Combat the bullying mentality from childhood!
