Male gender activists are gays, softies, players? Right?

We already know the trauma that female gender activists have to go through on a daily basis, right? The humiliating things every single day and the frequent demeaning words levelled against them by their opponents are amazing! These remarks are always used with the intention of discouraging them from continuing with the struggle for gender equality.

Some of the remarks include: feminists; lesbians; anti-Christs; men-haters; sluts; abortionists; baby-killers; westernised women; divorcees or future divorcees, etc. It does not matter whether these opponents believe in the words they hit the women with. All they care about is to say something humiliating against them so that they lose steam and no longer partake in gender struggles. Bear in mind that some of these words may not inherently be demeaning (eg feminist). All that matters to the anti-equality proponents is that the words are said with a clear intention to insult that particular woman at that particular point.

But how about males who advocate for gender equality? What are the demeaning things that are levelled against them? My personal experience has led me to list a few of those insults. If you are a man who constantly and consistently advocates for gender equality, these are the negative responses you will receive from people out there:

1.    “He is saying all these things simply to impress some woman (or women generally). The things he is saying are the kind of things that a player will say just so as to impress women and then be allowed in.”

2.    If you defeat the above statement, well, obviously, “Do you not see that he is gay?”

3.    If you are able, believe me after a very long time, to defeat the above claim, you will receive a fresh claim. For the unmarried man they will say, “His wife will mistreat him and he will sheepishly obey,” and for the married man they will say, “He wears the skirts in the family.” In SiSwati, “Lona utawube advonswa ngumfati ngesilevu masekashadile,” for the unmarried man, or, “Phela lona nguye umfati kulelikhaya,” for the married one. It will get worse if they find you washing dishes or cooking at home. That would be a “clear sign” that they are “correct.”

4.    If you are successful in defeating the above claim, the opponents will hit with another one. “He is just not a real man! He is a softie!” Yep! That is what you will get.

5.    If you defeat the above claim, then, “He is male feminist, obviously misplaced because men can never be feminists.”

According to the Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary, 8^th edition, a feminist is “a person who supports the belief that women should have the same rights and opportunities as men.” There are, of course, other definitions of the word “feminist” from different schools of thought.

6.    If you are able to defeat the above, they will start all over again recycling the other claims, one after the other. What you have to know is that no matter what you do or say they will always have some negative things to say in order to get you to stop this “nonsense.”

Ask any man out there who has ever dared to speak even one word in favour of gender equality, and they will tell you that they have had the above things said to, or against, them. Note that none of these opponents will ever refer to the men (and the women) as gender activists or activists for gender equality. No. The intention is always to find some words which society regards as demeaning and use them against the activists.